Buffy was staring at Faith as she was practising against the wooden dummy. Not for the first time, she found herself enamored with the girl. The way she moved, muscles flexing, envying the sweat running down her exposed skin.
She wondered what it would be like to have control over Faith's body. To have the brunette at her mercy, begging her to make her come...
"Hey Buffy, you need a handkerchief for that drool?"
Buffy was shaken out of her reverie by her friend Willow. "Huh, what?..."
Willow smiled. "The way you're looking at Faith, it seems you are about ready to explode."
"I was not looking at or drooling over Faith!" Buffy said indignantly, trying to regain some composure.
"Uh huh" Willow just smiled and decided not to press the matter further. Being more experienced in matters of sex and women and well....sex WITH women, she new a lustful stare when she saw one. She had been noticing the way Buffy was looking at Faith over the past few weeks and although she and Faith may never be the best of friends, she knew a hot girl when she saw one, and could hardly blame Buffy. The girl has taste.
She wasn't going to give Buffy a hard time about it, but would wait for her to realize what was so blatantly obvious to everyone else. She will wait till Buffy comes to her to talk about it. But in the meantime, it was not above her to poke some fun at her best friend.
Willow took a seat at the table where Buffy was sitting and pretending she was actually studying for an upcoming test instead of undressing Faith with her eyes. Buffy seemed a bit flustered after being caught by Willow. She didn't know what was up with her. Longing for Faith has been happening more and more often lately. At first she wrote it off to some kind of infatuation with how free the girl was and how she carried herself with such confidence. When Faith walked into a room, she owned it. And she was fully aware of that fact.
But the more time they spent together, the more Buffy realised that what she was feeling for the other slayer was actually closer to lust, mixed with some serious feelings of the mushy kind....plus that whole dominating thing...that has taken her by surprise. When has she ever wanted to dominate anyone sexually? She has never viewed herself as someone who would be into the kink, but with Faith she wanted to lose herself and explore those feelings. Not because she wanted to hurt Faith, but because something about her begged to be controlled. And somehow, Buffy knew she was the only one who would be able to do that.
"Whatcha studying?" Willow asked Buffy.
"Psych101."
Buffy almost smiled at the irony, thinking a psychologist would have a field day dissecting her most recent urges.
"I am struggling a bit with the whole Freudian bit, I know it shouldn't be that difficult to understand, but that whole penis envy thing....why on earth would I be jealous of a guy because I don't have a penis? How does that make sense? Did Freud even have a girlfriend? And why are we studying what this weirdo thought?”
Buffy knew she was rambling, but seemed unable to stop herself. Trying to drill out the thoughts she had been having with meaningless ranting.
Willow held up her hands
"Whoa, Buffy, slow down. It's not that hard, I can come over tonight and we can go over it together until it makes sense to you, or at least until you understand Freud's way of thinking."
"Thanks Wills, but I have to patrol tonight. And tomorrow night, ugh, I don't know when I am going to get time to study for this stupid test."
"Well can't Faith fill in for you?"
Buffy looked up at the other slayer when her name was mentioned.
"She has been doing a lot of the patrolling since I started college, but it's not fair towards her. I am sure she has places to be, guys to do."
Buffy found it hard to keep the jealousy out of her voice with that last statement. Why did she have to say that? Now her mind was filled with images of Faith in some bar and a bunch of horny men leering at her. The thought made her angry and sad at the same time. She wanted so much to show Faith how she felt about her and how the brunette made her feel, but she didn't know how. She felt hopeless all of a sudden.
Buffy's distress wasn't lost on Willow. She felt sad for her friend.
"Buffy, you know you can tell me anything right?"
Sad hazel eyes met hers, welling with unshed tears.
"I know" she whispered "but not just yet Willow. I just need to try and make sense of things for myself first."
"Well, maybe actually talking about it would help you make sense of it. And especially to someone who won't judge you."
Willow contemplated whether she should call Buffy out on her obvious feelings for Faith, but bit her tongue. The sadness coming off her friend was almost palpable and she wanted to respect her wishes and give her space until she was ready to deal. She reached across the table and took Buffy's hand in her own and squeezed it.
Story notes:
My first attemp at writing fanfic..and it's terrible I know, but I am posting it flaws and all and if there is anything good about this story, I hope you will tell me.
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